yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Couch. On fire.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
