question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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