I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize