He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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