I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
