I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize