no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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