So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
