are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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