we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
