nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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