Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
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This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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