I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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