dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
