She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize