I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
