Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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