When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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