I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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