quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
