i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
