if only i could text you this smell
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
