i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have aggressive nipples.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
