I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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