I CAN MOONWALK!
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
is that a dick in a sweater?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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