That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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