recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
