He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i came on her dog
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
