I can text with my tongue
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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