I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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