Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize