READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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