Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
BRING THE BAGELS
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
