Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
