Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm too high and old for this...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
