Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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