Will you blow on my dice?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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