her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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