i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have fence marks all over my body
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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