Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
