After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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