Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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