is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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