do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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