Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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