Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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