Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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