look no pants
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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