careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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