She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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