Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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