Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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