He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
