I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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