I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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