I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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