I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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