Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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