Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize